Swing, Swing (An ode to my deep rooted irrational fears!)

{F21: vest similar, basic tank; Target: boyfriend jeans -on sale!!; Charlotte Russe: heels similar; H&M: hat -on sale for $10 in stores; Yellow bangle-borrowed from my mum, similar}
Hello all. I was thinking since it's been pretty somber round these parts as of late I should start getting back into the swing of things and start being my usually weird vaguely humorous blogging self. How's that sound? Good? Good. In the spirit of getting back into the swing of things I figured it'd be fun to make a compilation of strange fears. I mean, we all have strange little things that spook us or irrationally freak us out right? Alright, lets get started!  

  •  Crooked Teeth: Yes. I'm terrified of getting crooked teeth. I know. That sounds SO vain right? Bleh. Well, it's not entirely for vain reasons though! I mean I spent four years with braces not to mention the time I had to spend wearing an expander. Ouch. That's a lot of time spent with metal on my teeth that impeded me from swallowing my own spit properly, gross I know, so there's no way no how that'd I'd want to undo that. It's kind of an irrational fear since I have a cemented in retainer on my top and bottom teeth but nonetheless I'm always paranoically running my tongue over my teeth to check their straightness and/or doing a quick mirror check. Like my teeth would go completely whackedy whack in two seconds, as if. I'm weird. I know it.  
  • Sleeping with closed doors: I'm the complete opposite of most people. Most people like to sleep with the closet, bathroom, and bedroom door closed. Ya know, to keep monsters, kidnappers, and creepy crawlies away. I, on the other hand, prefer having all of the doors open, that way I can SEE that there aren't any monsters, kidnappers, and/or creepy crawlies in the dark spaces. Therefore, (Yes, I just said therefore. I just can't bring myself to start a sentence with so, improper grammar. Eek!) I'm freaked of sleeping with doors closed unless I'm sharing a room. Which I do. With my younger sister who happens to be terrified of sleeping with ANY open doors. 
  • Walking up any stairs in the dark: I think this one is pretty common. I mean, who doesn't feel like they've got a monster or murderer creepin' up on them when they're headed up the stairs? The only proper way to climb stairs in the dark is to sprint them two at a time, right? Right. 
  • Jumping off of any sort of edge: I cannot bring myself to jump off of any edge. Seriously. It freaks me out. I don't know why. I can't jump off of diving boards. I can't jump off of the edge of a pool. I can't jump down more than a few steps. I couldn't even jump off of a boat if it meant saving my life. It isn't a height thing, either, because if it were I'd be be able to jump off the edge of a pool, but I can't. Plus, I have no problem climbing up ridiculously tall heights and climbing down from high places...but I can't JUMP. It gives me the willies. Ehhhhhh. 
  • Last but not least, my absolute PHOBIA of birds, which I dedicated a complete post to here.
Well, I think that's about it. I think. Do you guys have any weird fears?? Oh and P.S. my little brother just went to get his license today. Yippee! Can you say chauffeur and new errand boy? Buahaha! Anyway, when he measured his height he was 5'11!! An inch away from an even 6 feet! I don't know why, but this just makes me insanely proud! Go him!

Much love!