I Hold These Truths to be Self Evident (In other words, my Declarationof Independence?)

So we all know that wonderful little document that goes something along the lines of, "We hold these truths to be self evident, that all men are created equal", and so on and so forth. Anyone know what I'm talking about here? That's right, I'm talking about The Declaration of Independence. Now, before you freak out that I'm about to give you a history lesson I might as well inform you that I'm simply putting together my own little "Declaration of Independence" of sorts for the day. It goes as follows, drum roll please...
"These truths I hold to be self evident, that my butt is in more pain than a Taylor Swift break up song, that I was endowed by my creator with a plethora of remarkable talents and abilities (had to toot my own horn a bit as the statement that follows is the exact opposite of self horn tooting) but was also endowed with certain (3 for the purpose of this declaration to be exact) undeniable faults, that among these are a complete inability to turn off any lights and/or curling irons when I exit a room, wash any sort of dish and actually make it clean, or put the toilet paper roll facing the right direction." 

{F21: black scoop neck tee similar; AE: striped button up similar; H&M: skirt similar, heels; Target: wristlet bag borrowed from my sister}
Let's discuss the items on my declaration shall we? 
Number One: MY. BUTT. IS. SORE. You know how people pound the bloody heck out of their steaks with little hammers to tenderize them? Yeah, how I imagine those poor little pounded steaks to feel after being "tenderized" is how my butt feels right now. My poor little tenderized butt. Sitting here writing this post is hurting my sore little cheeks so much that I kind of feel like drop kicking bunnies. Not really, but you get the picture. I hurt. Yes, I realize that the level of soreness in my buttocks (buttocks is a lovely word, don't you think? So beautifully hilarious.) is a direct result of my own crazy obsession with running and cross training but I reserve the right to complain about it gosh dang it! ;) 

Number Two: I find myself completely unable to remember to turn off lights when I exit a room and even worse turn off curling or flat irons when I'm done using them. I don't know what it is. Maybe I'm just a genetic mutant and I'm missing that genetic component in the brain that reminds people to turn off electric items, especially the kind that run the risk of over heating and setting  houses on fire. I think I forget to turn off lights because my brain will swear to its death that it succeeded in getting my fingers to flick the switch. That is until my annoyed siblings lead me back into the room where the light is inevitably still on. I've disfigured my bathroom countertop so much by leaving hair irons on that my adorable little sister stuck a note to our mirror that says, "turn off the iron"! It has helped.

Number Three: My total and complete inability to wash dishes. I don't know why but I just really, really suck at washing dishes and it's not for lack of trying because believe you me, I try. No matter how hard I scrub there always seems to be a spot, or multiple, that I seem to have missed. My dear old mum will frequently look through piles of dishes that I've washed and wonder if I washed them with my eyes closed. It's that bad. It's like I'm Oscar the Grouch's and Joe Dirt's secret love child and I learned how to wash dishes from them. I think I'll just have to be the type of lady who hand washes dishes AND puts them through the dish washer. Why not JUST put them through the dish washer you ask? Because I was raised to believe that dish washers suck at cleaning dishes and really only accomplish the unwanted goal of staining them. 

Number Four: I think the following images will accurately sum up number four. 
The CORRECT (at least according to my siblings and the rest of the free world apparently since this meme was even made.) way of putting the toilet paper roll on. 

The INcorrect way of placing a toilet paper roll
Heedless fool with a skewed perception of reality? I think that describes my personality pretty accurately. :) 

Much Love! 

Linking up with: Because Shanna Said So

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