7.14.2013

Public Restroom Woes, Vomitrocious, and I am NOT in love with you!!





These pictures don't show it but I have felt absolutely disgusting this week guys. I've had this disgusting and unshakable nausea that's had my stomach feeling all achey and gross and my throat feeling like it's got a lump the size of mars stuck in it. I'm seriously surprised I haven't spewed chunks yet. Yesterday was just complete misery for my wee little stomach and today I'm surprised I was able to make it through church and these pictures in one piece. Yuck, yuck, bleh. You know, as much as I hate throwing up and as much as it freaks me out I'd almost rather just throw up and get it over with. Maybe then my stomach would get over itself and stop torturing me. You know I've already tried to get my brain to send the message down to my stomach that it needs to get it's act together but alas no luck. I had to give the lesson in my Sunday school class today, ah! It's my second time doing it and I think I did pretty well other than the fact that it felt like it was 100 degrees in the classroom and I'm pretty sure I had some serious pit stains going on, but oh well. My class should at least consider themselves lucky that I didn't upchuck my breakfast onto them right? I'd consider that a win, plus they got Reeses for participating. Lucky them! So I've got three major thoughts going on right now. One: why did public bathroom designers start thinking it was a good idea to make everything automatic??! Two: why can't I seem to look anywhere peacefully without somebody thinking I'm staring at them?! Three: ...I can't remember what number three was anymore.




{H&M: polka-dot button up, A-line skirt similarish but available in stores for $10, baby pink heels similar but available in stores for $15!; F21: pendant necklace similar}
Let's talk about thought number one real quick. Automatic anything in a bathroom sucks. Want to know why? Well let's see, an automatic flushing toilet sucks because toilets spew their nasty little flush juice (or water if you want to get technical) about a hundred feet out. Now, don't quote me on that because I'm not sure that's the exact distance the water sprays but you get the point, its flush juice sprays FAR. Now, if it's a peaceful and glorious regular old NON automatic flushing toilet then you can plan your escape from flush juice accordingly. You can pull up your undies/panties/unmentionables or whatever else you feel most comfortable calling your undergarments and your trousers in peace and still have enough time to unlatch your stall door before quickly tapping that flush trigger and booking it out of the stall toward the sink station like you're Barney Stinson running from commitment. IF, however, you have to use a self flushing toilet then you just get stuck having flush juice spray out all over your butt mid pee because self flushing toilets are demonic. Oh, and automatic sinks and paper towel dispensers? Uh, hello, I need more than two splashes worth of water to rid my hands of public bathroom germs, and YES I would like a paper towel bigger than a baby butt wipe to dry off the two splashes of water the automatic sink gave me thank you very much. I guess the moral of the story here is to never use public restrooms...but I unfortunately have to pee every two seconds so that's not really going to happen. Alright, on to thought number two: there's no safe zone to look at in church anymore without someone thinking I'm staring at them!! I was sitting in sacrament meeting today, quite uncomfortable mind you, because of the whole feeling like I'm going to barf at any second thing and also because ever since I was in a car accident last year I can't seem to be able to sit for longer than 5 minutes without my butt going completely numb and totally hurting. Anyway, I'm sitting there uncomfortable trying to look at the speaker when I noticed a dude in the middle section three rows up from me glancing back and giving me a weird look. Obviously I turned my eyes toward him since I noticed him giving me a weird eye and low and behold it's a guy I went on a date with once (Date was a'ight. Didn't really like him in that way. Never really spoke again after the date. Now he's dating someone else. Now you're filled in). Awkward...and grrrrreat, now he thinks I was staring at him, and probably thinks I'm freakishly obsessed with him. Ok. Well. I'll just avoid looking there now...but he's basically lined up with my view of the speaker so how am I supposed to look at the speaker and look like I'm paying attention if I can't look in that direction without him thinking I'm staring at him? Oh well. I'll look in other directions. Well, in my attempts to look in other directions I kept glancing to my right, where there was another guy sitting who noticed me repeatedly glancing at him. Grrrrrrrrrreat, now this guy thinks I'm staring at him and evidently likes it. Ughhhhh. Guy, I'm not purposely glancing at you, it's an accident! I swear! I am not in love with you! Alright. Well, clearly the right side is not doing me any favors view wise so I'll just look straight ahead of me. Problem solved. Not. The girl sitting in front of me noticed me staring straight ahead and thought I was staring at her. Needless to say she gave me a weird look. I'm sorry girl, I swear I don't have some weird lesbian crush on you. I was just trying to find a safe spot to look. I'll just close my eyes now, and hope to turn invisible. Now, since I forgot what my thought number three was let's just pretend it was about how there's a summer sale going on at H&M (buy two get one free!) and I got two skirts, a sweater, a pair of shoes, and a top. Yay! 

Much Love!

Linking up With: The Pleated Poppy


4 comments:

  1. Oh no--I hate nausea--it really stops you from wanting to do anything! Sometimes throwing up really is a relief! You did a good job of looking really cute for the pictures even if you weren't feeling well! That polka-dot top is super cute!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ugh yes I agree!! Thanks Rachel!!! :)

      xx
      Allexis

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  2. you look great, never would have guessed you were feeling sick!

    Em

    Win a pair of Manitobah Moccasins!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Em, you're great!! :)

      xx
      Allexis

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