Finding Joy in Pregnancy

Hello, hello! I've been intending to write more frequently now that I'm prego, I want to be able to keep better track of this pregnancy so baby has something to look back on. Here goes then. I feel like this pregnancy has been a whirlwind of emotion for me. If I'm being honest, the first trimester, I didn't have any of the warm fuzzies and excitement that most women seem to have and I felt like something must be wrong with me. I mean, don't get me wrong, I loved my baby, but I was just having a hard time feeling connected with the fact that I was pregnant. If I'm being totally and completely honest, though, I know it was just because I was being resiliently selfish, having a hard time letting go of selfish thinking, and being overly concerned with the changes my body was and would be going through. What finally changed things, though, were a couple of things. 

One, when I finally felt the baby move for the first time last week! It was so crazy and I'm telling you, that moment, was my, "This is real, this is my baby, and I love him/her so, so much" moment. It wasn't even a big movement or anything, just a tiny little rolling sensation, but it was amazing! The second thing that really turned things around for me was thinking about what a blessing it was to even have the opportunity to be pregnant and have gotten this far in my pregnancy. Just thinking about how it isn't as easy for every woman to reach motherhood, and there I was completely taking it for granted, really humbled me. 

Pregnancy is beautiful and it really is a time to be in awe of what our bodies are capable of and feel gratitude that we have that opportunity! Maybe that's a little cliche and cheesy but it really is so true. And reminding myself of that daily helps me to get over my fear of one, pushing a baby out of my body, and two my concerns over how soft and big my body is getting/will get. Just trying to focus on the miracle of it all day by day so I don't get too scared, haha. So yeah, Baby, if you ever read this, I want you to know that I love you SO much and it just took your mama a little second to get over herself, haha!

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