New Me -Allexis 2.0

I'm going to be honest today, guys. Motherhood is hard. Is it awesome? YES. But is it also the hardest thing I've ever done? YES. And I only have one child. And I'm still in the "easy" part of parenting when he can't talk back, get into things, or make bad life choices haha. I saw a video on Facebook the other day of a woman describing how she was the perfect mom...before she actually had any kids haha. I'll link it here so you guys can watch it, but basically the video is trying to illustrate how as women we all have this idea of what we'll be like as mothers, and how awesome and perfect our children and ourselves will be, and then we actually have kids and everything we thought we knew is turned upside down.

For instance, I always thought that my babies would never use binkies, cry in sacrament meeting, have blowouts, would sleep through the night from day one, and would just be perfect all-around babies because of what...my miraculous mothering? HA!

I'm not saying this to sound negative or anything either, because as imperfect as my mothering is and as imperfect as my beautiful, perfect to me, baby is, being a mom is the best dang role I've ever had. And honestly, the reality is that we're just imperfect beings trying to do the very best that we can and that very best looks very different for every mother.

I've also been surprised by the things I've discovered about the "new me" the mom me. Like the fact that "mom me" still likes going to concerts and jamming out hardcore. Will you find me at a concert every week? Probably not. That's just not my priority anymore but it has been fun to get to know the new facets of myself and see the things that are still the same. It's also crazy how big of a difference taking some mom time makes, too and how it really does help you tackle mom duties better. When you're in the mommy trenches it's so easy to forget that you're still a human with interests and desires because, at least for me, my mentality is so "Baby, baby, baby. What does he need? What can I do for him? etc." and taking that time for me every now and then really does just make me feel like I am still  me.

I'd like to think that "mom me" is a better version of myself, though, Allexis 2.0 if you will. I may not be the perfect mom I always thought I would be but I definitely see how being a mother is drawing out the best in me so that I can love and raise my baby boy to the very best of my ability.

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